how to be awesome

• set rice and water to boil, forget to turn down to simmer, do this twice
  
• leave your trash cans on the curb for at least 24 hours after they have been emptied
  
• never iron
  
• run out of toilet paper, curse, buy costco size and leave it in the family room for three days
  
• mac and cheese three times a week
  
• cut, organize and obsess over coupons, then let them expire 
  
• make a plan to eat less and move more, then immediately eat more and move less
  
• forget no less than 3 appointments each week
• reschedule those appointments and forget at least 2
• write yourself reminder emails and frequently send them to friends instead of yourself
• leave your cell phone everywhere and never know exactly where it is
• if you send birthday cards make sure they are very late or very very early
• stains and missing buttons
• weeds
• typos
• fat
• always forget at least one thing when leaving the house (so far, not one of the children)
• watch reality tv
• put at least eight holes in the wall to hang one picture
• never return phone calls

are you awesome?