funnies from twitter

4yo: hey! guess what my root beer tastes like! soda!
9 Mar

5yo:let's play dr. 4yo:how do you play that? 5yo:i sit in the chair and you poke me w/ a pencil. 5yo(warming"stethoscope") this won't hurt
27 Feb

3yo: mama can you tell daddy to fly and pick up the house tomorrow so i can get my bones. they ran away.
15 Feb

4yo: "i think we should start calling the baby uncle spunky."
14 Feb

baby girl rocking back and forth on her hands and knees today. i know nobody cares, but sadly this is where i write stuff down to remember!
7 Feb

me: do you want to have a dinosaur party? 3yo: no! i want a big celebration!
7 Feb

5yo: "i don't want to live with you anymore!" that's a new one.
3 Feb

baby likes peas!
27 Jan

5yo: mama, can you get more magnets to hang my colorings on the fridge? 3yo: yes, and a NEW fridge!
24 Jan

sneaky little 3yo chowed down 1/2 bag of christmas marshmallows in bed and has been talking with his butt for the last 20 min. sigh.
16 Jan

my boys are playing with the baby's tea set. tea party extreme burping contest. winnie the pooh is winning...
16 Jan

5yo to 3yo: you smell like beef. 3yo: i smell like beef? no way! i smell like honey!
28 Dec

5yo: mama this christmas tree is the most boring christmas tree in the world!
10 Dec

4mo old and she still hums in her sleep. swoooooon...
29 Nov

5yo brings me a piece of paper "can you write mama on this?" i do, he crosses it out and gives me back the paper. #creativetantrum
23 Nov

sitting in a quiet office with only lamp light while baby sleeps and i work. i wish every mama had this kind of workplace.
19 Nov

what do kids dream about? according to my 5yo's sleep talking, angry birds. lots and lots of angry birds!
11 Nov

baby laying on my lap, just sat up! normal for a 3.5 mo old?
2 Nov

it's official, today=FAIL: 5yo bedtime prayer: "i was sad when she didn't play with me today {points at me}. amen".
27 Oct

baby's first giggle! in the tubby with brothers.
18 Oct

just told kids they can watch ANOTHER movie so i can work. 3yo: "this is our lucky day!"
15 Oct

mama: good night- i don't want to hear any noise. 3yo: ok. 5yo: copy that.
12 Oct

3yo: "i talked to my tummy and he wants me to eat a banana. that's why he got all of my flow (throw) up out. he's not mad anymore."
6 Oct

my 2mo old baby girl has the same deep deep love for sleep that i do. the little dreamboat sleeps 8 hours a night already!
27 Sep

Baby slept NINE hours last night!!!!!!
20 Sep

best 3yo complaint today (and there were lots): "mama! the baby is NOT growing!"
15 Sep

group cheer! baby has learned to keep the binky in her mouth! yippeeeeeeeeeee! #hellosleepivemissedyou
15 Sep

baby smile #2! it's about time!
27 Aug

after 2 shots in his legs 5yo said, "mama, i can't climb mountains now!"
27 Aug

baby's 1st smile tonight!
20 Aug

3yo: how do i look? 5yo: sensational!
13 Jul

3yo has already picked up on "but daddy said i could!" - "daddy said i could have an jelly bean after i ate-ed my marshmallow."
18 Jun